Your child may have moved past the “terrible twos” stage, but they can still experience emotional outbursts and tantrums. “Big feelings” like sadness, fear or anger can be overwhelming and challenging to handle for children, resulting in emotional meltdowns. Hence, parents need to play a proactive role in helping children cope with their big feelings. When children learn to regulate their emotions, they will be able to navigate complex social situations and make conscious choices, leaving a positive lifelong impact. Here are some emotion regulation tips to help your little one cope with their big feelings.
1. Help your child identify big feelings
Help your child understand and recognise what they’re feeling. You can start by introducing your child to basic adjectives that describe feelings, such as “happy”, “sad”, “angry”, and “scared”. To create more conversations around this topic, you could also discuss characters in books and TV shows by asking your child questions like, “What do you think this character is feeling now, and why?”
Pay attention to your child’s emotional changes and help them identify their emotions by labelling them when they emerge. For example, you can say, “You look angry,” or “I can tell that you’re feeling sad.” Once they understand the different emotions, get them to express their feelings by saying, “I am feeling sad” or “I am feeling angry”. By equipping them with an outlet for their emotions, they will be less likely to react with tantrums and hostility when the big feelings hit.
2. Correct their behaviour, not feelings
Let your child know that while it’s perfectly alright to feel emotions, certain behaviours are unacceptable, such as screaming, punching and throwing objects. Validate and acknowledge their big feelings but make it clear that experiencing emotions does not give them the right to be disruptive or violent.Always relate consequences to inappropriate behaviour and not your child’s feelings.
3. Teach emotion regulation techniques
Apart from setting expectations on unacceptable behaviour, you can teach your child emotion regulation techniques to help them cope with complex and uncomfortable feelings. Encourage your child to go to a safe and quiet space like their room where they can calm down before a meltdown occurs. You can also teach them calming techniques like counting to ten or practising deep breathing when they feel overwhelmed. If they’re feeling sad, let them know that there are healthy ways of coping with that emotion, such as working on a colouring book or going outdoors to play.
4. Don’t let good behaviour go unnoticed
Encourage good behaviour with positive reinforcement. For example, if your child expresses their big feelings in an appropriate manner, praise them by saying, ‘I love the way you expressed your feelings even though you were hurt’. By giving your child positive attention for good behaviour, they will be motivated to keep up the good work.
At MindChamps Early Learning & Preschool in Australia, our programme focuses on nurturing children to become compassionate, confident and resilient Champions. Book a centre visit today!